I Don’t Fit In On Social Media

I don’t fit in on social media! I’m out of touch! I’m uninterested! I’m not hip! This wasn’t part of my generation!

If you’ve said any of these statements, then we are in the same boat. I had social media when I was younger but found I enjoyed my life more without it. Now returning to social media to promote my blog, make connections, and stalk my boyfriend, the entire climate on social media has shifted:

• Attention spans are shorter.
• People are wearing less clothing.
• The video edits are more complex.
• The language and lingo have changed completely.
• There’s a competitive atmosphere.
• People are hostile, some ignorant, and others shameless.

Plainly put, I just don’t fit in on social media. It’s a weird space: I kind of want to fit in at least at least enough to be effective, but I’m also perfectly content not fitting in the circus act.

• I’m engaged, I have a longer attention span, and find these rapid-moving clips obnoxious, and unhelpful.
• I’m modest and private. It’s hard to compete with half-naked women or the audience they can maintain by sharing every detail of their life.
• I’m Christian and find myself grieving over things that people openly and casually participate in, commend and campaign for on social media.
• I’m respectful and polite– online at least, haha. The comment sections are a scene from your favorite war film. People are snappy, belligerent, and insulting.
• I’m not a performer. The video edits require a bit of acting, exaggerating, and dramatizing- if your face is in it, at least. I get embarrassed from even thinking about making exaggerated facial expressions in front of a camera for my 50 followers.
• I have no clue how to work these apps. The best features on these apps require some expertise. I wouldn’t know where to begin.
• The most interesting things about me don’t relate to the product or service I am trying to offer. I have hobbies coming out of my ears, great people around me, and I’m very adventurous. However, I’m a writer. I’m not selling myself (am I?), I’m selling my writing.
• I’m humble and somewhat reserved. Even if I was selling myself, it makes me uncomfortable to constantly parade myself on social media.
• I’m not egotistical. I’m quite insecure in many ways. It’s hard putting myself out there.

These are all valid reasons why you may feel that you don’t fit in on social media. It’s great to recognize those and be honest with yourself- however, the problem still stands. You want to utilize this free marketing tool and maximize it’s effectiveness. No matter your opinion of yourself or of social media, put it aside and lock in! This isn’t about you. It’s about your venture. It’s about the impact you could have. Make your social media attempt count!

Here are some ways to do that:

• Follow the right accounts. Be sure to like the right posts and engage with content that is relevant to you so that the algorithm will push you accounts that inspire you and give you ideas.
• Follow social media coaches! Even if you do not want to pay for social media advising, these accounts give out free advice and tips on their pages!
• Spend some time on social media! If you are out of touch, or not “hip”- get there! Study it, recognize patterns, take note of popular audios, and compare the quality of posts and their success.
• Learn the lingo and language! Join in on the fun. Sometimes we are too serious. We take our differences too seriously. Incorporate the latest lingo in your posts.
• Use humor and satire! The trends, the “cringe”, the second-hand embarrassment- embrace all of it! It’s okay to seem human. Social media is about perfection, unfortunately. However, as corny as it sounds- you can make your imperfections, your uncomfortableness, and your embarrassment part of your “act”.
• You are an actor! You are a performer now, and social media is your stage. Your act is what you portray. Your niche, your style, your uniform- it won’t feel like you all the time. But sometimes we have to fake it til’ we make it.
• Be yourself! Yes, I just said fake it til’ you make it, and now I’m saying be yourself. This dance is called “balance”. You can’t fake it so much that your audience will not recognize you. Find the happy medium. We are faking the confidence when we don’t have it within. We are not faking who we are. That’s a good way to end up hating yourself, just a small tip.
• Find content ideas that don’t require you to be front and center! No need to exploit your personal life, no need to take your clothes off, or even have your face two inches from the camera. You don’t have to be the face all the time if you are not comfortable.
• If you are extra sensitive to criticism and hostility, turn your comments off or limit them so that comments containing specific words cannot post. No need to subject yourself to the cruelty of those who do not have the boldness to do what you are doing.
• Set trends! Find your style that no one has- that way you’re not fitting in, you are simply utilizing what comes naturally to you. If you have clever thoughts, use them as captions in your videos, if you have great taste in music, use that as background music, if you have a nicely decorated bedroom, make that a backdrop! It is okay to stick out!
• Don’t focus so much on creating content. Sometimes you have to BE the content!

Lastly, and perhaps the hardest pill to swallow:

Sometimes, when our products are not the only of their kind, we have to be the face of our product. This is some of our worst nightmares.

Sometimes we have to draw people to us by being who we are. Remember this, sometimes the most insecure people, the most self-conscious, the most reserved, have the most to offer. You may be critical of yourself or have a heightened sense of self-awareness. That inuition, natural critical thinking can be a wonderful tool! As much as we have to play the game, don’t let the game play you! You are just as able to navigate this scene as anyone else- but, like everyone else, you must put in the effort.

Your personality can be an asset if you are pure in heart, friendly, and likable. Refrain from sharing negativity, or even your disdain for social media- unless it is an attempt to be relatable to other content creators or even your audience.

Stop judging. Stop judging, ridiculing, or being annoyed by people who are not as grounded as you, who do not see the flaw or issue with exploiting themselves. This is a money game for them as well. This may be a hobby or outlet for them. We can’t be bitter and disgusted by people who sashay through the streets of social media. Not fitting in on social media sucks for your business- but it’s common knowledge that those who are consumed with social media (usually those who fit right in and participate!) aren’t as content as the latter. However, where they are flawed in their obsession with addiction, you may be flawed in your inability to adapt, be a chameleon, or be a performer- which is a skillset!

As social media addicts would put it: hating social media is not a personality! Remember, it’s a balancing act! You are being yourself while stepping out of your comfort zone. You are giving the people and the algorithm what they want while you are setting trends. You are adapting, but you are not a follower. You are participating in trends whilst setting them.

Happy posting!